Worst weekdend.... :(:(

I don’t know...what I want to write. Honestly, I am dying to get her single message or call. Since morning I don’t know, how many times, I checked my mobile…every now and then. I know it sounds absurd but it seems like I am crazy about her. Things are getting little serious for me, and I don’t know, how she is taking all this.

                                    Last night, she didn’t reply me after 2 or 3 messages, I thought she slept. But again in the morning, I called her and she didn’t pick up. And after some time, my mobile beeped and I thought she messaged me. Yes she messaged me but message was not quite friendly to me. She wrote “Don’t call and message, her brother is asking for her mobile…we will talk on Monday in office time” and that’s it.

                                    I didn’t know how I should interpret this message. Talk on Monday…I mean what is this? But again I gave preference to her against over my thought and didn’t call her or message her. But that message was like a shock for me.  I never had this kind of feeling and I don’t know how to deal with it… L  its not like, I am weak guy, not able to deal with any problem. What I am not able to understand is…she knows everything…how much I love her…can’t she send me a single message in a day…saying…..”hey buddy….don’t worry…everything is same between us…just don’t worry…we will talk on Monday…I will message you… if I get safe space…” .

                                    I just don’t want to get burden on her. If she can’t accept me, she can say upfront and I swear, I will never chase her again or bother her again. In my opinion, she should not keep mystery between us. I don’t know….what ever she said in message, how much correct it is….or she don’t want to talk to me…..goddddd…..i hate so much myself for thinking this over and over again. She might be really having this problem.

 All these thoughts are killing me….slowly and painfully. I don’t know…what I am going to talk to her on Monday. 

Just to come out of my pathetic sad situation, I went along with my friends for almost a day outing…a boring outing…to keep myself busy…to not think about her. But at last I enter my house at 9 PM and again I started thinking about her.  Its not like I didn’t think about her all day… but I did my best to not think about her. My friends were looking for land to buy and I tried my best to get in to discussion everywhere… and there were few moments…they asked me… “You are showing so much interest for our deal…thanks”. What could I have replied….i just smiled.

                        Its not like, I cant stay without talking to her a day or whole weekend. It’s just…she never told me…what she is thinking about me clearly. I don’t want to behave in crazy way. I never pressurized her to share her thought about me. I always told her… take you time. But whenever I feel…I am getting away from her. It feels like, I am falling into very deep pit.

 
            I don’t know…she will ever understand this feeling or not LL. I can stay cool and calm without talking to her for a month, but before that, I want her confidence in me. I want to reach to that trust level that she is mine. It won’t matter, how far she is going to me, but she will come back to me one day.

                        Its 10.30 and I am looking at my mobile and my mobile is looking at me sadly saying like “I can’t help you buddy…I am sorry LL”.

                        Tomorrow is Sunday, one more day to go; I don’t know….how I will get over it. Honestly I hate this feeling sometimes…being in love with someone… this feeling eats your inside in bad days… perhaps…this is first time in my life…I loved someone so much…so deeply. But I will deal with it at my best… I have to know…that… why she is just talking to me…? showing some kind of pity…because I am in love with her… but let me tell her… I am not that much weak. I can handle myself. If she is really not interested in me…she can tell me upfront and I will never ever bother her again.

Let me stop here….otherwise…I will write the same things again and again…whole night.

I wish myself good luck…LL

I don’t want to lose you GARIMA… LL

She Knew…I LOVE HER…Yipeeeeee

Well, I don’t know….from where I should begin. It’s been a week I didn’t write about her. This week was quite hectic for me...in terms of work. Ok...Let me begin from nowhere… ha ha ha J

                        I m just floating in her love…and drifting just like that…well who cares…where I will land..Atleast not me J I had 3 or 4 times conversation with her on last monday...and it was heart relaxing for me….coz only I know…how I was desperate to talk to her….. And since Tuesday. we had talk almost on all topic….including our would be life….covering all the aspect of life…. It was she…who all started with all the different kind of discussion…I already told you guys…she is a hell of analyst…be it anything..

                        In my entire 3 years career…I never waited for weekdays so impatiently. I just wanted to talk to her…on anything….I don’t know….i feel like..i never get enough of her… I can say that…I am totally in love with her…madly… badly … entirely…in love with her . ha ha ha .. J….

                        I don’t know…what to write…and how to explain…there are so much things…thought bubbling into my mind…simultaneously…about her….I just want to pour my heart….every bit of it.

                        She is kind of person….who sense everything….at least about me... :) irrespective of our age…she is more mature than me. She is little hesitant to take step toward me. I can understand. She is girl. A girl with golden yet funny heart. [I know..every person…on this planet thinks the same about their love…the way I feel about her…] I am also the one to blame....i am kind of the person…who is always in hurry…always ready to pour my heart in front of the person. So, I can understand her concern….her little silence on these entire topic about love and all. Well….let her take her time…I don’t care…I just want to give her enough time to establish her thought about me.

                        She has her own way to express her feeling…ha ha ha…god…I love her…in all way. One day she asked me. She has to complete her study. And it will take minimum 3 years. So she told me…do not wait for her.  At first…I was not able to reply….my heart always sank on this kind of question of her. I just don’t want loose her at any terms. But I replied in my best way….”Buddy….we can discuss about this…and you can carry on with you stuff and ever if we marry, I wont stop you for any of your ambitions. I will try to provide you as friendly situation as possible…even after our marriage JJ”. Some where in my heart…I know…she tests me by all these scenario. But I want to tell one thing for sure...she is such a dumbo..on emotion and all love things. Whenever I start talking on all these things, be it relation or love. She stays silent not saying much. But parallel, I am also an idiot…coz…i keep on going, not thinking…what she might be thinking…or she is comfortable to talk on this or not. When I realize all this…I am almost over….on that topic JJ.

                         Yesterday... I told her that…i want to see her some snap. And that was it and she fried my brain with how she looks so ugly…dark…has high cheek bones, fluffy nose…dark circles around eyes...and all possible bad remarks about her. And I am also such an idiot to day...that my mom always wanted a “white bahu” and that was it…she started saying all bad things about her appearance and told me that she is not enough good looking girl for me… full evening she fried my brain…. JJ…she is also…annoying sometimes….ha ha ha… And I keep on saying that….”i don’t care… you look average or like priyanka chopra. You look dark or white…it is your sound, your thinking, your funny way…your twisted mind (just kidding…she is very mature…JJ) whom I love…and I will be happy to have her in anyway…. But still she didn’t stop. I don’t know…it was intentional or she really meant…whatever she said…..  but I really felt some hint of sadness in her…I don’t how true my thought was at that moment. But this my own thought made me sad. I never want to see her at this position, by telling all crap about her, if she really meant. I stopped her in middle and said…that’s enough buddy….if want to upload your photo…then do that…or if you don’t want to, then also it wont be a problem for me. She finally stopped, and when she went home. She uploaded her photo on FB and messaged me,

 “please check and let me know…how I look”. At that time I was travelling to home and said…will check once I reach home.

                        But how a person on earth, who is so much in love with some girl can wait for even 30 min. I checked her photo on my mobile and god…that was the moment…she drew me more closer to her. But still at that moment, I kept myself so calm and told myself, lets go home as early as possible and have a good look at her snap.

                        After getting out of cab, I sprinted toward my flat. I opened my house and threw my shoes…don’t know where and opened my laptop and switched my net on….logged into FB and it was she... staring at me[her update was the latest one]. God she is so cute and even with that fluffy nose…she was looking so cute and innocent and those big eyes…always made me feel crazy about her.

                        Instantly I messaged her, that you look so and so...and again...your one more try to keep me away failed….ha ha ha JJ. These are her tactics to make me change my mind about her. But after chatting with her on FB, she seemed happy and I felt like…she is accepting my love…..ha ha ha.

                        This snap of her was totally different than all her snaps of FB. In all those previous snaps on FB, she looks so serious and mature. But this was totally opposite. In this snap she was looking like small kid with so much innocence on the face. I felt more attracted towards her.

That time I wanted to shout……..

“GARIMA…..I LOVE YOU so much… never ever try to keep me away from you ”  but I didn’t shout…not even I wrote these things in chat. I know, she is not as filmy as me…ha ha ha JJ. She used digest things slowly. Let her take her time……….. LL

 But this is good. She is filling my void also. She also use to tell me….”Rohit take your time buddy…..” and I always use to say like a small kid…..”YES BUDDY… LL”

She is my sweetheart…… JJJ

 

Love you Garima……

 

 

 

             

 

Got Caught While Lying

Got Caught While Lying

Since morning….it felt like eternity passed infront of me…..finally I called her again…at 3 PM…and guess wat..she picked up this time….i felt like..i got my breath finally… I started talking to her…so fast…said…nothing is working out…mssgs r not going to u…and I guess…..you messages are not coming to me….. she was so calm as usual[god knows only…how these girls maintain these kind of attitude…she was so calm like a water…as if nothing happened….] even I doubted…did she forget..what we were taking last night. So..i didn’t pull the matter again. I was little hesitant..i mean..its really different while chatting with someone.. compare to , if the same person is listening your voice. I mumbled for a minute. Then I said.. I missed our chat badly since morning. L… she smiled and…… bingooooo…. I thought…still we are on same page… JJ . she said…messages are not going for her too. She said she sent couple of messages since morning. But it seems it is not reaching to me. Then I asked…” is it good time to talk to you”. She came out of house. And she said..she is going to online in few minute. This line came as relief to me. I said.. I am also coming online. Lets chat. I went online and then the real deal started.

 I just told…everything what I did since morning. She also shared the same detail. I was kind of excited while taking to her. For each of her line… I replied in more than couples of lines. And guess what…she sensed my desperation. And she said….”easy rohit…be steady. I can understand.”  I stopped then and there itself...  then in a very steady manner I told her…what I am thinking since morning… and how those last night talk keep coming back to me. She replied accordingly. Then she said…” Can I ask you one question”. I just taken back….something bad is coming…gezzzzzzzz

“Why your birth date is 84 showing in FB” she said. I was speechless. Some days before I told her my B-day is 85. It was white lie.

“I just wanted to tell you ..that I lied you on this.” I mumbled….it was really humiliating. I mean…. i am not blaming her….it was just a plain lie…

I said lots of things in my defence…and still she was calm……she just asked..

“why you lied…”

then I told her…the reason…reason was quite small for me…as well for her also… but I gathered all my thought…and told her… “you B-day is 90…and m of 84…so..i thought……u might not talk to me…you might consider me very elder than you… and I never wanted to lose you…even as a friend….”

She didn’t say much to me…but to my relief…she didn’t showed any kind of drama on it.

She…asked again….what else you lied to me…..

I said…I will tell you every small detail, where I lied to you…but don’t get angry…plzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I told her that I know swimming but not skating…I never had taste of wine…smoked few times….….many more ..all possible small lies which I told her in last 2 months…..

She said..” how can I trust you now “

I said…..”don’t give up your trust on me…”

Let me explain…and I promise.. I will never lie to you….and what ever I lied to you….it was at the earlier phase of friendship…. And I never thought…that…we will reach to this point…

She said okay….i said….”just don’t keep any bad idea about me….just tell whatever coming into you mind…”

And guess what….she went Offline……goddddddddddd… it happened again….i mean…it felt so frustrating…that…why she went offline…can’t she give me chance to explain her…..

I thought…what she might be thinking…..bad, good or angry…..

I called her after few min…. and she picked…..god…such a relief, I felt ……

I said..”are you angry on me”

“no I am not…there is some problem with internet..i am not able to connect”…she said.

I know..she has some problem of showing emotion…..i asked her again….please let me know…if  you really feeling hurt inside….. she smiled….and said…”am not angry…just little taken back…that’s it”. She said…”why you sound so tensed…”

I said..i am tensed…I got caught red handed…and last night I was taking about our future….and now…you stripped me…by my lie….

She said…”it happens…just don’t be tensed…”

I said…can I talk to you for some time…she went into her room…and we again started taking on good note and …I asked “lets give it a shot… I mean…lets give it a try….on our relation….if it goes well….we can plan to be together…. And you know…we are very compatible to each other….lets talk like this..for few more months….and if our compatibility remains same…then…I guess…we can think about our future together…”

“it’s not possible…” she said..

I felt like I am sinking…..but again…I pulled together myself…and said…

“if you cant encourage me….then don’t discourage also and I will try for this…”

“please call later…..” she said in very low tone…..

I thought….her family member might be coming into her room and disconnected the call….

And that’s it…. I don’t know…she did it intentionally or really…this was the situation…

OMG…I m really in love……ha ha ha……..

I don’t know….how it is going to work….how much she will contribute…..

But I will try my best

Good luck Rohit Sir... :):)

My paused Friendship cum love story

Hi..this is first time , I am writing about myself in this blog. Well today is Sunday 19^th august 2012. well I can say that this day is one of the desparate day in my life….gezzzzzzz. I hate this. Last night I was taking to my friend over messages (since she stayed with her family….goddddd..one of the all time hurdle for friends and lovers…. L) ..

well.... I was taking about, my chating with a girl, whom I befriended just few months back. Suddenly what happens, my vodaphone network got jammed and messages were not moving to her. I tried with my other mobile, which is airtel (Most trusted network in India……) but phewww…that also didn’t help. Got the same problem……goddd it was so irritating that time… I started scolding my mobile plus network too.

Yes….you guys may wana  know..why I was so much irritated. As a matter of fact. She is very good friend of mine, we were takin since last 2 months. Yesterday. We started taking about, our would be husbands and wife[just imagination sort of stuff]…..like how he or she should be, and we realised that whatever the specs we were looking for. It was very much suitable for me as well as to her. I mean to say….we finally agreed we are kind of suitable for each other.

Let me tell give you little glimpse of her ....She is very funny, always making me laugh and I am kind of mature yet childish (its my blog…so I can impose  all good quality on myself.. J but I just wana take about her). She is funny but still sense everything… little bit bad at showing emotions……little defensive and not able to trust easily anyone…..a very good listener.....and last but not least…very imaginative (godddddd…she made me girl in her imagination……and many more things…its endless list…..). And the best part about her….she will never let you be serious….even if some times i get very angry on her. She will reply in such a manner…my all anger wash away….my god…she is so cuteeeeeeeee…

So…okay…enough deviation from main topic…so I was taking about…that yesterday night ….we were taking about …. If we are interested in each other so much…so we should give a thought to get together….and I was like on seventh heaven at that time… JJJJJJ…… but godddddddddd…. As you guys know….now a days love story and friendship are very much dependent on these shit technology…..first time in my life…I scolded these techy things so much…..now you guys would say….you friendship started over this only….you cant just scold this….

I admit for being such a jerk sometime….but can’t you see…I am deeply in love with her…

And today morning….i wake up by 7 [i never woke up at seven in my entire IT career...on the top of it....it was weekend...so big sacrifice..... :(:(] and ran towards the shop to recharge the messages scheme for my dumbo mobiles[thought , perhaps after recharge…it will work out… u know…when u r newly in love….u behave in such a duffer way… L]…. L…. I recharged then and there… and typed the messages but again same problem…in both network…..and my goddddddddd …I felt like….m going to brust… I consoled myself and said….” Come on rohit…..try some more time….it will work”.

But ‘oh my lord…’ why this dumbo shit of machine would work. Then I started asking to the shopkeeper…what man…I am still not able to send messages…in a very rude manner…[like this is the last message on earth….anyone sending to someone….]….he said…dude..calm down… some day before Indian government.. has invoked the policy…that say’s, you cant send 5 messages in a day in august 2012. it was like … some one bombarded on me with nuke….. my jaws open… and frozen there for few seconds….that shopkeeper gave me a weird look. I said…..anyway..thanks……and I left.

But as u know..any person in love….can swim across English channel….so..this was just interruption of some shit service for me…. I am not going accept this as my fate…. JJ… I will fight for my stuck up love conversation with her… then I logged into the internet and opened the 160by2, a online messaging service…and from there…. In a matter of seconds and I fired 2 messages to her…..but yet…didn’t receive any reply…I don’t know..she has received those messages or not. Or even if she received…she might have replied..but the messages might not have some to me. I tried calling her…but she didn’t  pick. She is satying with family….so I can understand her concern.. LL

In the desperation….since morning...i read entire news paper(which I never do…usually…except for seeing some gorgeous models photo….. :) and I also finished all the house chores… and now I am writing this….again in desperation…..awwwwwwww…..

Its really…..strange , desperate  feeling…that comes…sometime in life time..where u overlooked everything in the hope of looking her only…. ….u guys can see the effect… I am behaving like some old…drunk sayar….gosssshhhhh.

And the wrost part is…she is never going to read it…..coz…I never told that…I write blog also…..well….that’s love….i guesssssss…

Oops…I forget… to give introduction…..hey I am rohit..and she is Garima…..i am from Bangalore..and she is Mumbai based….you guys….must be wondering…that…how…this all started… ha ha ha…..:)J even I also wonder some times…. JJ. We are working in the same IT firm…. But her location is Mumbai..and mine is Bangalore…. We got connected….for one of the project….we were the only 2 analyst…actually we were working on some…analysis kind of project. I was new in that project…and she was there from last 6 months…she was working under some Architect….so basically….as a new to that project….i use to talk her very frequently……for any queries… and she helped me a lot…to pick up the project pace in few days. I have easy going nature….so I started to talk….and she was kind of joined the talk…interestingly…. Some times she said..atleast….thank god some one joined the project at junior level……atleast we can chat…. And I was also new in the that company….so..didn’t have friends… ….we talked a lot over Communicator… and we became gd frnds… after one monthe..we started messaging each other…we added each other on facebook also…..although….we didn’t use facebook much ..coz phone messages was enough…..we used to chat till midnight…almost everday since last 3 weeks…. And now…I am here.. J

Lets see where it takes me……… JJ

Good luck for your love. Garima...

Rohit.....