Its 3AM in the morning and I am thinking about you Garima.
But this post is less about you and more about me…JJ
Let’s move little further. When I was in my collage days, I was good in programming; I can say I was better than all of my classmates.I was the only one, who completed assignments in IT lab before anyone else could. But as I remember, in those times, I was under the influence of competition and reputation, like if someone else programs before me, then my reputation will be ruined…ha ha ha…what a joke…[now I think JJ.. instead of these I could have chased some more girls in the class]. But what my point is, even in those times, after the class ended, I always came with optimal version of the program [shorter and simpler]. But I didn’t think of this in the Lab class, there I was in some kind of race... so here again my concern is I ran after some quantity sort of thing and totally forget about the quality… LL
3. Able to understand, what any one person saying, but not able to reply accordingly.
4. Always reach early in the queue, but good for nothing.
5. Can do multiple things at a time, but not good at perfection.
6. Can sense lots of things, but not able to get grip on myself.
7. Even if the work can be accomplish in 50% effort, why I am putting 100% then?
8. I can be a good lover or good companion, but not able to be steady on relationship.
9. Easy to get interest in, but it’s more easy to get interest out.
10. Plan better, but always ruin the plan in hurry.
11. Some times misunderstood things, such as conversation, events and react wrongly.
12. Always loose control of myself in chaos [bigger form of hurry]
13. Always came under the influence of events, instead of myself.
I guess you only lead me to write this. I don’t know, you
are slower than usual or I am faster than usual. But never mind, whatever, I am writing, this is just a self analysis and perception of
different people about me.
Many times in last 1 month, you told me, I am going faster
than you, while making up relationship with you. I don’t how much you are right
about the relationship but I am sure you are right about one thing, that I am
always in hurry…..ha ha ha….
I am not able to sleep and was thinking about me and all
above things you told me. First things that came into my mind... is since my
childhood, I always heard from my dad “Son slow down…other wise you
would ruin the things”. Well now I understood those things. Sometimes my dad
was right and sometimes it was a childish way of mine. I mean, almost all the
normal child in the world must be in hurry, if he or she is crazy about
something… ha ha… show me one kid, who wouldn’t be crazy to go to park or get his first
pen or for any sort of new things. So I can accept with this that my dad is a
typical normal dad, just like any other normal dad.
Ok, lets move little forward in my life time line. When I
reached to school, well let me tell first, I was just an average student,
honestly lower than average. But still I have some of my nice moments, which I
can tell proudly… ha ha ha J I remember that, sometimes, if I get crazy about some
subject and I started preparing notes. And in those moments, I always forget to
read carefully about those subjects. My point is I believed making notes,
instead of keeping those things in my mind. It could have been more useful
to me then. And when exams comes, I had so much content, that I use to get
confused, what to read or not.
Let’s move little further. When I was in my collage days, I was good in programming; I can say I was better than all of my classmates.I was the only one, who completed assignments in IT lab before anyone else could. But as I remember, in those times, I was under the influence of competition and reputation, like if someone else programs before me, then my reputation will be ruined…ha ha ha…what a joke…[now I think JJ.. instead of these I could have chased some more girls in the class]. But what my point is, even in those times, after the class ended, I always came with optimal version of the program [shorter and simpler]. But I didn’t think of this in the Lab class, there I was in some kind of race... so here again my concern is I ran after some quantity sort of thing and totally forget about the quality… LL
Let’s talk about present now… enough of blast from the past
things…
My dear friend or lover whatever… Miss Garima. I lover you
so much, but I should behave like some man [some serious man, like we see in a
movie…hero kind of], but whenever I talk to her. I sound so desperate, so eager
to talk and so childish like…”U know garima…I did this …I did that… I was
missing you…you are so bad…u didn’t call me or message me…all kind of crap”. In
this silence, I can understand, what she must be going through while talking to
me… Listening me is challenge sometimes for anyone. But what do I do… LL
Thank god I am not super man, otherwise she would have been in the trouble. Bangalore
Every one can understand from my last passage that I started
writing in desperate way… LL.
Ok lets behave Rohit…
Yeah… my point is she is right, we should take our time to
decide about each other and in the mean time, we can have smart chats, flirtiest
chats [I really like to flirt with her…but the problem is I flirt in very boring
way…need to find out some creative way to flirt with her]. I just want to make
myself understand, that it doesn’t matter, either she is my friend or lover, I
just don’t want waste my time in order to get her approval that she loves me. I
just want to spend my all time with her [in chat and call only.. LL]
in very happy manner, by making each other laugh or jealous sometimes. May be
who knows, that someday, implicitly we will become lover and there wont be any
need to explain that how much we love each other. Oh…god…how romantic my last
line sounds…awwwwwwwwww…JJ
I guess, I diverted from the main point. I made some list of
analysis about myself. Lets check it out…. LL. Most of the points
are negative..
1.
Always fast in programming…but not
able to get the optimal solution.
2.
Always fast in talking…but not
able to bring good and intelligent conversation3. Able to understand, what any one person saying, but not able to reply accordingly.
4. Always reach early in the queue, but good for nothing.
5. Can do multiple things at a time, but not good at perfection.
6. Can sense lots of things, but not able to get grip on myself.
7. Even if the work can be accomplish in 50% effort, why I am putting 100% then?
8. I can be a good lover or good companion, but not able to be steady on relationship.
9. Easy to get interest in, but it’s more easy to get interest out.
10. Plan better, but always ruin the plan in hurry.
11. Some times misunderstood things, such as conversation, events and react wrongly.
12. Always loose control of myself in chaos [bigger form of hurry]
13. Always came under the influence of events, instead of myself.
Wowwwwwww…so much inefficiency…LL
Need to work more Buddy. I have to slow little bit and need
to see the situation in more clear way or also from different angles.
After finding out so much demerit about myself, I am not
feeling good… I guess I should stop here…
Love you Garima…Good night…oops..its 4 AM now…Good morning for you….and good night
for me… JJ
